AA is No Joke

I can't recall how many times I've heard people make fun of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Mainstream America has joked about AA so much, it's become a cliché to say "hello my name is _______ and I'm a ______ (fill in the blanks)." Everyone seems to know this is the awkward opening line in the introduction circle at an AA meeting, and the ignorant seem to get a good chuckle out of it.

People who have actually been to a meeting will tell you there is much more behind standing up and simply uttering nine words. Just to get to the point of stepping into the room takes a lot of guts and a complete realization you MUST turn your life around.

Sometimes going to AA is so embarrassing, people lie to family and friends on where they are going. I knew a lady once who told a few trusted coworkers she started attending meetings, but she couldn't tell your own teenage boys. She wanted to tell them and explain the situation in order to teach them about addiction; unfortunately dealing with ending her dependence on alcohol was so much for her to bear emotionally, she didn't have it in her to bring her kids into the mix.

Then there was the guy I knew who repeadedly joined AA; it seemed like he was on a five year cycle, with each episode harder to manage than the one before. He'd let his drinking get out of control to the point of receiving a DUI - and that was the clue he needed to start turning himself around... again. It was usually not a case of leaving a bar and getting pulled over a few miles down the road though; he would drink WHILE driving to business appointments right through downtown Pittsburgh. He was so blatant about it he didn't even put the bottle in a bag anymore and he'd drive with his windows down. Everytime he'd make up his mind and get his act together it was even more of a struggle than before. For guys, it takes an amount of courage to swallow pride and admit you made a mistake, let alone the SAME mistake over and over again. He would always say "this is the last time I'm going through the program," and we'd all hope he wouldn't fall off the wagon in a few months. None of us would laugh about it though; we were just sad for him.

In any case, it takes bravery, humility, awakening and acceptance for a person to take a seat around an AA circle. It's no laughing matter, and I salute all who do - no matter what your story is.

Next time someone tries to be funny with the AA intro line, tell them they're unoriginal, ignorant and speak in clichés - that should shut 'em up.

Learning of a terminal illness: Getting to the acceptance stage and sensitivity dealing with others

Sometimes a battle cannot be won. When you or a loved one is diagnosed with a disease deemed “terminal,” the news is devastating. Suddenly there is only one question on your mind; “how long?”

Many of us are familiar with the recognized stages of grief:
(in no particular order)
- Denial
- Bargaining
- Anger
- Despair
- Acceptance

Complete acceptance would seem to be the easiest stage to be in, and obviously the most peaceful. Although it would be fantasy to jump straight to acceptance after receiving terrible news, how can you get there quicker? Is there a way?

Unfortunately there really can be no time parameters set on each stage, and as far as we know, there is no pill to speed up the process. Each individual goes through the stages at their own pace, and in varying order. Some may experience anger first; others might begin by immediately bargaining with the doctor. To further expand the combinations, each traumatic event may elicit a different pattern of stages for each person.

Knowledge of the stages of grief and the understanding that everyone goes through them differently can make your life a lot easier when dealing with such sad news...

It’s very common for one person to make it to the acceptance stage (“I’ll be gone soon and then you won’t have to worry”), and another person to be in a different stage (“What do you mean you’ll be gone soon? Why do you say such stupid things?!”). If each person takes a second to remember the stages of grief and realizes a loved one is in a different train of thought, conversations can be less explosive and more like “I hope I can get to that acceptance stage soon like you did... lets go get some ice cream.”

Clearly, many difficult discussions are headed your way; there is no need to turn small talk into large arguments.

The Secrets to Relaxing before Doctors Appointments

Most people put "going to the doctor" on the list of things they do only when there is an emergency; right between root canals and fighting tax audits. But when medical office visits become more regular, the anxiety of going should lesson because it becomes routine... right?

It would be nice, but when somebody is depending on the words and actions of doctors to stay alive, each appointment - no matter how many - carries with it a tremendous amount of pre- and post-visit stress.

"Will the blood test results turn out OK? What will the doctor say is wrong this time? Are there going to be more prescriptions? Will we be referred to another doctor? Are we closer to getting a transplant?"

The list of questions and worries quietly spinning around your brain can drive you crazy. How can the patient and family members cope?

Some say to simply change your view and refrain from worrying about what you can't control. "Just come to realize what will be, will be" and "you cannot change what is not yours to control." Few people really are in-tune with such eastern philosophies though. Even if they talk like Confucius to try to calm your nerves, it's doubtful they themselves can let "inner peace" guide them.

A few more realistic stress relievers are as follows:

1. Gardening &/or Landscaping
Many people find it very calming to work outside in their gardens. There's something about killing weeds and growing vegetables or landscape foliage which can be very satisfying. A lot of the best gardeners I know hold in more stress than anyone realizes, then let it loose on poor unsuspecting dandelions and patches of crabgrass.

2. Strenuous Exercise
What simpler way to clear your mind and get in shape than by exercise and counting. Counting reps, strides, laps, heart beats, miles, anything to monitor progress and focus on the basic math of 1...2...3...4...5. And who can't stand to loose a few pounds anyway?!

3. Artwork
Here's a stress-buster people mistakenly think only a few can do. There is a larger "artist community" out there than you think though - you may be one of them. For anxiety relief, crafts and music are just as good as pottery and sculpting. Some of you have enough stress built up to build a popsicle stick house 10 feet high while listening to the "1812 Overture."

4. Cleaning & Fixing
Cleaning seems to have a similar draw to the same type of individuals who can be avid gardners. The people who have the cleanest houses also seem to be the ones who worry the most. It also holds true for clean cars, boats, clothes, etc. Cleaning and fixing things really helps you feel better when there is a lot on your mind, with the added bonus of getting a job accomplished you were probably putting off.

5. Visiting Friends & Family
If you're lucky enough, you have a support network around you who are great listeners. For many people going through tough times, just talking to others and letting the words come out can help more than anything. It helps even more if you can get out of the house and visit someone to change your environment for a little while.


This is an abbreviated list of suggestions, of course. There are folks out there who have their own ways to burn off anxiety; like blasting targets with semi-automatic assault rifles... or surfing the net (and reading blogs)... or taking up boxing!

In all these suggestions, the common element is keeping yourself occupied. Staying busy works off tons of nervous energy and helps your head sort through the distortion worrying causes and focus on what's really important:

If you or someone close to you is suffering from liver disease, sometimes just being with them when the sun rises or sets is more important than stressing about a doctors appointment anyway.

I Wish I Had More Time

A friend gives her view of an alcoholic diagnosed with liver disease:

As a step daughter who's step father is a recovering alcoholic who now is in the late stages of cirrhosis, all I want is more time. Why? Because I was so wrong, about everything...

When my Mum met Gene, I thought, why is she seeing this guy? My Mother, who can't even drink a shirley temple with out passing out in a stupor, goes out on a date to a bar, drinks fuzzy navels, then Gene has the guts to carry her through our front door?! Mum is just giggling, singing, and waiting to give me a big hug. All I felt was repulsed, this was not my Mum - the lady who was serious, always on time and always had a plan. Gene told me to relax, "she had a rough day, she just had a few drinks to calm down."

Not only did I hate Gene but my Mother also. I was 16, old enough to deal with my own life without her help. My mother married Gene, and I felt betrayed and alone. I was so angry. I was her daughter, and she chooses this guy, the guy who all he does is talk about his cars, how he fixes them up, how much he sells them for, and drinks cheap fart-making beer. When he had a "big day"at the auction he would then drink the good stuff - you know the kind of liquor - the stuff that smells like cough syrup.

Every family get-together ending with Gene being drunk, listening to my mother make excuses for him. "You know how much pain he is in from his car accident," or "it's just a couple of beers," as he can barely walk, let alone make it to the bathroom to relieve himself or throw up.

Eventually I went to college, got married and settled down in life. I was happy, living far, far away from my mother and Gene. Then 10 years later I got the call...

Since meeting Gene, I knew he was going to have problems with his liver. In my heart I knew his drinking would kill him. How could it not - drinking a case of beer a day? I never forgot to remind my mother (or anyone else who would listen) that Gene would pay for all his drinking, saying "that's what he will get, exactly what he deserves." To make things even, I never forgot to tell my mother (a heavy smoker) about the latest friend/coworker/neighbor who was just diagnosed with lung cancer, and that is what happens to those people who smoke.

When I got the call, all I could hear was my mother crying,"Gene might not make it. His liver is failing, he is in the hospital, having all kinds of tests done!" I heard my Mum for the first time - she loves Gene, the man, not the alcoholic.

That was when I saw Gene for Gene, not just his addiction. He was the man who helped my mum recover from the loss of her Dad, the man who would quietly listen to me rant and rave about what a jerk he was, the man who would sell off his favorite cars so that I could go on my senior trip or so my mum could go to the doctors, buy groceries, or pay the electric bill.

When my Mum had to leave her job due to a medical condition, Gene was the one who supported her financially and emotionally. Gene is the one man who loved my mum for who she was and is. He is the closest thing I would ever have for a father. Who was I to pass judgement?

He does not deserve to have advanced liver disease, just like the smoker who dies of lung cancer didn't deserve to die, or the person who did not wear her seat belt and now is a quadriplegic. We are human, we make mistakes, we make wrong decisions, and sometimes become addicted to the one thing we thought would always bring us comfort.

Gene has to live with his own mistakes, but for me, I have to accept Gene for who he is, not what I wanted him to be. I still hate his drinking, but I have accepted him, just as he did me so many years ago. I want for my mum and Gene to have many long years together, for us all to have the best relationship we can have.

For so long, all I wanted was Gene out of my life, and now all I want is more time, time to make up for all the anger and hurt. I want time for my Mum, so that she and Gene can live out their lives as they planned. I want my children to know their grandfather.

I don't know how much more time he has, or even how much time any of us have, but I know now - I don't want to waste a minute.

Starting to Eat Again? Time for an Apron:

When someone is a heavy drinker, they’re appetite usually diminishes. This is because their body gets accustomed to getting its calories from alcohol. Not only are the calories from alcohol filling, but they are empty; which means they have no real nutritional value. When a person’s appetite for food is replace by an appetite for adult drinks, their body is forced to process the alcohol while being malnourished.

Once the cycle of calorie replacement is stopped, a person’s appetite gradually changes to crave real food once again. The money saved from not drinking beer anymore is now spent at the grocery store (a frustrating experience with today’s food prices).

The sting of the high price of groceries should be lessened by the knowledge that the ex-drinker is getting some nutrition. And with medication (if needed), a balanced level of hydration (with water), and the right foods, that person should start to feel better than ever.

To celebrate the people we know who have got their appetites back, Dirty Tractor Apparel has released its first apron. Boldly claiming “It’s NOT sausage unless it’s made with cows or pigs,” it takes the words out of our favorite character’s mouth – ol’ Jim.

You just cannot quickly introduce an old-timer to the idea of sausage made with poultry. The look on their face when you try is priceless, and the opinions they speak are libel to cheer people up for a while.

Visit the ol’ Jim section of the Dirty Tractor store to take a closer look. Happy eating!

Is it OK to Drink Around Someone Forced to Give up Alcohol?

When a family member or friend has to give up alcohol, is it OK to drink again around that person? Even worse, when that loved one has developed advanced cirrhosis of the liver it is a tough question in the midst of a difficult situation. The only other circumstance I can relate it to is when someone quits smoking.

When somebody kicks the smoking habit, it's usually pretty awkward for everyone around them used to that person always having cigarettes close by (aside from the grumpiness). This is especially true for the ones who would normally "bum a cigarette" from them, or go out on smoke breaks together. The result is the new non-smoker's friends sneak out to avoid hurting feelings or being reminded that they too, should quit.

In the case of sobriety, the situation is similar - awkward - especially for the people around them who still drink themselves. When the new non-drinker is facing a life or death situation if they start up again, those around them know they definitely don't want them to "fall off the wagon." Thus, the usual jovial attitude smokers and non-smokers have with each other cannot be compared when an alcohol situation is dire.

Sometimes, a forced-sober individual will say it's fine to drink around them - they "don't mind," BUT people with healthy livers should know better; because when the mood is relaxed and people say things in a casual atmosphere, THAT is when a beer would go real nice with this bar-b-que, and wouldn't it be great to have a glass of wine with this baked brie and chocolate cake?

The reality is, when a loved one can no longer handle alcohol and their life is at stake, you CAN control yourself and wait to have a drink away from them. I wouldn't sneak out in a group because the recovering alcoholic is probably depressed enough... However, if they catch just one or two of you in the basement with a secret stash of booze, just say you're doing it for them - they'll understand and probably have a good laugh.

10 Main Causes of Liver Cirrhosis

Most people that have heard of liver cirrhosis will automatically attribute it to alcoholism. In fact, there are a number of causes for the disease; Here is a simple list of 10 of the more common ones:

1. Alcoholism
2. Chronic Viral Hepatitis
3. Chronic Bile Duct Blockage
4. Primary biliary cirrhosis
5. Primary sclerosing cholangitis.
6. Nonalcoholic fatty liver diseases
7. Abnormal Storage of Copper or Iron
8. Certain Drugs and Toxins
9. Autoimmune Hepatitis
10. Cystic Fibrosis and Alpha l-Antitrypsin Deficiency

Not surprisingly, Alcohol does happen to be the #1 cause of liver cirrhosis. Excess drinking can be attributed to 9 out of every 10 cases of cirrhosis in the U.S., and is also the third leading cause of death in people age 45-65 (after heart disease and cancer).

A distant second place to alcoholism is hepatitis Type B and Type C; both viruses.