When a family member or friend has to give up alcohol, is it OK to drink again around that person? Even worse, when that loved one has developed advanced cirrhosis of the liver it is a tough question in the midst of a difficult situation. The only other circumstance I can relate it to is when someone quits smoking.
When somebody kicks the smoking habit, it's usually pretty awkward for everyone around them used to that person always having cigarettes close by (aside from the grumpiness). This is especially true for the ones who would normally "bum a cigarette" from them, or go out on smoke breaks together. The result is the new non-smoker's friends sneak out to avoid hurting feelings or being reminded that they too, should quit.
In the case of sobriety, the situation is similar - awkward - especially for the people around them who still drink themselves. When the new non-drinker is facing a life or death situation if they start up again, those around them know they definitely don't want them to "fall off the wagon." Thus, the usual jovial attitude smokers and non-smokers have with each other cannot be compared when an alcohol situation is dire.
Sometimes, a forced-sober individual will say it's fine to drink around them - they "don't mind," BUT people with healthy livers should know better; because when the mood is relaxed and people say things in a casual atmosphere, THAT is when a beer would go real nice with this bar-b-que, and wouldn't it be great to have a glass of wine with this baked brie and chocolate cake?
The reality is, when a loved one can no longer handle alcohol and their life is at stake, you CAN control yourself and wait to have a drink away from them. I wouldn't sneak out in a group because the recovering alcoholic is probably depressed enough... However, if they catch just one or two of you in the basement with a secret stash of booze, just say you're doing it for them - they'll understand and probably have a good laugh.
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