Waiting on News from the Hospital

There are many types of phone calls I dread receiving. This Valentine’s Day, I got one which ranks among the top calls I’d rather not get.

After taking my wife out to dinner at her favorite Italian place, my cell rang. The person calling knew it was Valentine’s Day and we’d be out for the night, so right away it was obvious something was wrong. When the voice on the other ended sounded frantic, I knew something was VERY wrong. Unfortunately, a loved one was admitted to the emergency room with extreme internal abdomen pain, but with no outward symptoms.

I think ER staff is trained to triage in their first college course. What really messes up their groove is when someone walks in with a mystery pain and not bleeding from anywhere. No broken bones? No blood? No sickness? No chest pain? Their diagnosis might as well be a big question mark on a chart with a recommendation for transfer to any other floor with an open bed.

On a good note, luckily, the family member in agony did not have to remain in the waiting room too long; it was practically empty. Apparently it was too cold outside that night for people to be out doing anything stupid and going to the emergency room.

This is where the tough part begins though – the waiting for any type of news from the hospital staff. When a patient’s pain is not easily diagnosed, a string of doctors, nurses and specialists run a myriad of tests. Each professional has their own schedule and each test’s results take time to read, all accumulating to an eternity of waiting for an answer and next course of action.

In my case, I was not able to be bedside, so to deal with the waiting and stress I had to preoccupy myself. Since I was worn out from worrying so much, the first thing I did was sleep for 12 hours. Upon waking, I then

• Cleaned the kitchen


• Alphabetized a DVD collection


• Moved archived files onto a new computer


• Installed 6 pieces of software


• Cleaned my porch


• Brushed a very large dog who sheds excessively


• Ate almost all the ice cream in the house

By this time, I finally got another phone call to the effect of “they still don’t know what’s wrong; they’re calling in two surgeons.”

When hearing news of multiple surgeons opening up a loved one, many people have different reactions. Some may cry, others may pray, me – well, I was hungry for more ice cream.

At this point, the situation reminds me of taking apart a car’s entire engine to find out what the squeak is under the hood. I just hope when the mechanics all get in there they find the source of the problem.

…and I’m still waiting for another call from the hospital…

The Secrets to Relaxing before Doctors Appointments

Most people put "going to the doctor" on the list of things they do only when there is an emergency; right between root canals and fighting tax audits. But when medical office visits become more regular, the anxiety of going should lesson because it becomes routine... right?

It would be nice, but when somebody is depending on the words and actions of doctors to stay alive, each appointment - no matter how many - carries with it a tremendous amount of pre- and post-visit stress.

"Will the blood test results turn out OK? What will the doctor say is wrong this time? Are there going to be more prescriptions? Will we be referred to another doctor? Are we closer to getting a transplant?"

The list of questions and worries quietly spinning around your brain can drive you crazy. How can the patient and family members cope?

Some say to simply change your view and refrain from worrying about what you can't control. "Just come to realize what will be, will be" and "you cannot change what is not yours to control." Few people really are in-tune with such eastern philosophies though. Even if they talk like Confucius to try to calm your nerves, it's doubtful they themselves can let "inner peace" guide them.

A few more realistic stress relievers are as follows:

1. Gardening &/or Landscaping
Many people find it very calming to work outside in their gardens. There's something about killing weeds and growing vegetables or landscape foliage which can be very satisfying. A lot of the best gardeners I know hold in more stress than anyone realizes, then let it loose on poor unsuspecting dandelions and patches of crabgrass.

2. Strenuous Exercise
What simpler way to clear your mind and get in shape than by exercise and counting. Counting reps, strides, laps, heart beats, miles, anything to monitor progress and focus on the basic math of 1...2...3...4...5. And who can't stand to loose a few pounds anyway?!

3. Artwork
Here's a stress-buster people mistakenly think only a few can do. There is a larger "artist community" out there than you think though - you may be one of them. For anxiety relief, crafts and music are just as good as pottery and sculpting. Some of you have enough stress built up to build a popsicle stick house 10 feet high while listening to the "1812 Overture."

4. Cleaning & Fixing
Cleaning seems to have a similar draw to the same type of individuals who can be avid gardners. The people who have the cleanest houses also seem to be the ones who worry the most. It also holds true for clean cars, boats, clothes, etc. Cleaning and fixing things really helps you feel better when there is a lot on your mind, with the added bonus of getting a job accomplished you were probably putting off.

5. Visiting Friends & Family
If you're lucky enough, you have a support network around you who are great listeners. For many people going through tough times, just talking to others and letting the words come out can help more than anything. It helps even more if you can get out of the house and visit someone to change your environment for a little while.


This is an abbreviated list of suggestions, of course. There are folks out there who have their own ways to burn off anxiety; like blasting targets with semi-automatic assault rifles... or surfing the net (and reading blogs)... or taking up boxing!

In all these suggestions, the common element is keeping yourself occupied. Staying busy works off tons of nervous energy and helps your head sort through the distortion worrying causes and focus on what's really important:

If you or someone close to you is suffering from liver disease, sometimes just being with them when the sun rises or sets is more important than stressing about a doctors appointment anyway.