A Familiar Sequence of Events/Song Lyrics

There is a song released a while ago that tells a familiar story about drinking. It was by a group called the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Anyone who has battled a drinking problem can relate to the story of going to some run-down bar, or "dive," with the goal of getting wasted on cheap drinks. When the night is over, you once again are convinced you have an issue with alcohol (only to forget about your revelation the next day).

The people most familiar with this scenario are the ones who cannot remember how many times it has repeated itself in who knows how many bars, but one thing's for sure: the motive and outcome are always the same.

Here are the lyrics to "Another Drinking Song," by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones:

Gonna dive into a jive I've dove into before
Gonna haunt a haunt I've haunted
Like a million times or more
A familiar joint Where getting drunk's the only point
To frequent this place
With any frequency at all

Countin' on a remedy I've counted on before
Goin' with a cure that's never failed me
What you call the disease, I call the remedy
What you're callin' the cause,
I call the cure

Gonna sing a song, a song to you A song I've sung before
Belt out a ballad that I've belted out A million times or more
The words I'm gonna scream
And getting drunk's the central theme to the lyrics,
if you can Make the lyrics out at all

Countin' on a remedy I've counted on before
Goin' with a cure that's never failed me
What you call the disease, I call the remedy
What you're callin' the cause,
I call the cure

Just a devotion to a potion
Please no applause
A dedication to a medication - A crutch a cure a cause
What I've counted on to pick me up
Has knocked me to my knees
Before I hit the floor once more I'll call it the disease

Alcohol and Brain Shrinkage

A new report in the news today talks about the discovery of smaller brain sizes in people who consume just moderate amounts of alcohol... and no, their brains were not small to begin with.

Apparently, research conducted by the neuroscience program at Wellesley College recognized the link between brain tissue shrinkage and alcohol when studying the phenomenon which occurs naturally as people age.

"Decline in brain volume -- estimated at 2 percent per decade -- is a natural part of aging," says Carol Ann Paul, who conducted the study originally at the Boston University School of Public Health. "However, we did not find the protective effect," says Paul, who is now at the neuroscience program at Wellesley College. "In fact, any level of alcohol consumption resulted in a decline in brain volume."

What causes the brain to physically shrink anyway?

Alcohol is "known to dehydrate tissues, and constant dehydration can have negative effects on any sensitive tissue," says Paul.

Before you get too upset about the results of this study, it is important to point out that there was no determination of decreased brain function because of less brain volume. It is an interesting study, nonetheless.

Stop Emailing While Drunk!

Apparently emailing people while under the influence is a growing problem in our ever-digitized world. So much so that Google has developed a method to perform a “sobriety test” on people sending emails to each other during certain hours of the day.

The new Google method requires the sender to complete a few basic math problems before an email is sent during pre-set times, thus cutting down on so-called “e-goggles.”

It has become a sorry state of the times when there is a need for people to be checked for drunkenness before sending messages to one another. What’s next, passing a breathalyzer test attached to our cell phones before making a call?

Obviously, Google cannot be faulted for dreaming up the new safeguard. As usual, they’re running with unique programs and ideas they think will add more value to their user’s experience. The fault lies in the larger picture of a dysfunctional society that likes to say what they mean once their inhibitions are down.

Here's an idea: we’ve all had our experiences with angry drunks, mad wives and generally pissed off people who are perfect ladies and gentleman when sober. Maybe Google’s next undertaking can be to develop a system to determine if someone is predisposed to such behaviors and keep them locked in their house during pre-set hours of the day? Silliness – yes, good idea – yes again.

Anyway, the new feature is available through Google’s Gmail service is called “Mail Goggles,” and is available at Google Labs.